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The Award-Winning Source for Apocryphal News Tuesday, July 16, 2020 

Letters from the Editor for March 7, 2020

Open Letter, Fundraising Edition

I got this today. And this email could have been so much more effective.

Don't Be A Doofus--Vote for Rufus!
Rufus T. Firefly for President 2020

This week, we've seen donations come in online as fast as upwards of 500 a minute. Think about that, Cathy.

Across the country, 500 donations a minute to say we are ready to elect Rufus T. Firefly and to put decency back in Freedonia's highest office.

And you're a part of that. When you donate, you are matching your fellow supporters across the country. We're all counting on each other, and on you, Cathy.

By the time you finish reading this, hundreds of people will have donated. People in The Commonwealth of Chicolini, in PinkyTown, and probably more than one in 99999. We hope you join them.

Can you make a $5 contribution to elect Rufus T. Firefly right now?

We need to bring in a lot of donations today alone to be in fighting shape as we compete against Otis B. Driftwood for the nomination, and also fight off the attacks already coming from Frank "Sylvania" Trentino and his allies.

500 donations a minute, hundreds just while you've been reading this email! Cathy, something amazing is happening and Rufus T. Firefly is counting on you to keep it going.

Chip in here and join your neighbors in 99999:

Thanks for sticking with us, we're in this thing to the end.

Margaret Teasdale
Fundraising Director, Freedonia
Firefly for President

From the Editor of The Daily Apocrypha. All rights reserved. © 2020.

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